Let Me Ask You Something: How do You Feel About Frilly Toothpicks?

Those of you who appreciated Aaron's shoutout to Mitch Hedberg will certainly appreciate this one, too. For once, though, I must say I ain't FOR 'em (frilly toothpicks, that is).

To tell you the truth, I forgot all about the damn things until the frilly little thang showed up with my tempeh burger.
Thus far, eating at restaurants has turned out to be much easier than I thought it would be. I opt for places that use real silverware (though I do have a camping set in my backpack, just in case), and metal tins for sauces instead of those little plastic things. I've been getting good at ordering small, because I can't leave anything on the plate! (I'm not too into the idea of carrying containers around so I can pack my own leftovers...)

I leave wrapped condiment packets alone, and I don't order anything with bones because I can't compost them. I generally leave with a small wad in my pocket: a crumpled napkin for the burn pile, with that orange peel and parsley garnish for the compost.

Some people question my philosophy on paper napkins. I thought about carrying a cloth napkin around so I wouldn't have to use the paper ones, but I actually need paper mass to start fires with at home. I even use paper towels in the kitchen because otherwise I don't have enough paper to start fires with (my housemates and I read our news and pay our bills online). I figure its better to burn a used paper towel than a fresh one. Plus, I have this feeling they throw unused napkins away anyway if you leave them on the table.

But man, like a frilly toothpick straight to the heart, my mainstay cafe stuck me with some real-life, undeniable trash.